she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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