Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
