hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
