Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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