A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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