And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
