If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I need mimosas to revive my soul
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
