I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
