But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
