There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
