i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you would pick up someone in the library
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
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Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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