I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
