Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
