Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize