The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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