wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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