North Korea, Best Korea!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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