haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she was so not down for the gang bang
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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