hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
