did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
3pm strippers are depressing
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
