What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
