OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
