Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
