Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
