How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
farters have to be the big spoon...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize