Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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