well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
