idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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