Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
