I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
