Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
