Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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