What a fucking waste of an outfit
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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