did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize