Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
