Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently you make a good broom.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
