Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
