so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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