yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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