Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
