if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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