Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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