When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i think i just lost a toe
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize