hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
