just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
