No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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