So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
