It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
