So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize