if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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