Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
