does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
