i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
