ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
