I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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