just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
