Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
