And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i will never coherently bang her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
