she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
