Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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