so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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