If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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