I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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