Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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