Say something about gay babies.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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